31 July 2011, 11:59 pm
Okay, I really need help. Ever sense I was a kid I would see stuff, and hear things. No matter how real they got, If they were unbelievable, I just thought it was my imagination. However Im older now, and there not so unbelievable. I have not been officially diagnosed with anything, but thats not what I'm worried about. I know I have a medical condition known as DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), which is also known as Split Personality Disorder. I'm 20 and I have finally gathered everything to a self diagnosis. I have 2 separate personalities, excluding myself (3 total). I also may have minor schizophrenia. I wonder this because I hear things that I know aren't there (after investigating). But Im really visually starting to get hit with real looking stuff. Its getting worse. The other day I was driving out of a parking lot and I was waiting for a white car to park/ pull out. As I stared at the car it started to fade away to transparency. That was my most recent and possibly dangerous one. The other week I saw it rain really hard but it wasn't. My dad told my it didn't. There are other things that have happen but I don't want to take to much time. Back to my DID. I have been suppressing it for a while now and I don't think I have enough willpower in me anymore. I appear normal to friends and family, but at a cost. I can't have to many friends cause I don't have very much social time to spend. I also spend allot of time in my room alone. I do this so I can switch alters and no one knows the entire time it happens. DID also ruined all my friendships at work. I would go to work and get stressed or be put in a situation were ill just switch, or sometimes ill just show up to work as an alter. It's also affecting my grades. Its like having a twin and making him go to half the classes and not take notes. I'm literally afraid of getting another job, and going to school. I'm loosing the willpower to force out my main personality. I don't know what to do, I don't want my mom and dad to know. They have enough problems with my brother who has Aspergers. I told my mom I need to see a psychiatrist but she says I can't because were between insurances right now. I can't see one for a couple weeks. The problem is, is that I have foolishly waited as long as i could. Now I just need some help sleeping and getting a proper diagnosis on my seeing things problem. Is there a government funded medical center or psychiatric service? any I Ideas on what I can and should do? BTW I live in Carlsbad CA.... Read More »
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